Reflection

Well, I have been home for 5 days now. It is crazy how fast it all has gone by. I have found myself thinking a lot about my time back in Uganda and just reflecting on how good God is and how honored I feel that He has provided for me every step of the way to go there twice and hopefully many more times to come. These past five days have been hard. It's always difficult to adjust, and I have had some weird sickness that causes me to only feel ill at night. I started nursing school, which you can imagine overwhelmed me almost to tears, but I am excited. To get places in life, you have to work hard, and I know that this will lead me to great things and where God wants me.

The big question that everyone asks is, "how was it?" I always laugh inside because this question is not simple. The more I have thought about this, I have found my answer, but is it what I thought it would be when I started planning my trip back? No, not at all. My answer is...it was hard. Really hard. But, I think that's okay. The other day I was talking to someone about it, and I said...It was hard, but you know you're in the right place when it isn't easy. And, I fully believe this. I think God calls us to be uncomfortable. To be challenged and to be pushed. It's not easy to go to a third world country and serve those around you. It's not easy to live life completely differently than how you have lived. It's not easy to walk with Jesus. But, it's rewarding, and it's the greatest gift in the world.

Listening to stories from my missionary friends in Uganda and experiencing some of it myself makes me have so much respect for people who truly give up their lives to follow Jesus. My friend, Bob, told us not just anybody can go over seas and serve. It is a big sacrifice. This got me thinking and is very true. I am so thankful for the missionaries we have all over the world risking their lives so others can come to know this great Love that we have. I only pray that if this is God's future for me, that I would be just as bold and courageous.

Reflection. 

My time in Uganda was not easy. My time back at home is not easy. But, life is good. God is good. Laughter is loud. Friendship is near. And, love is present. Wherever you are, enjoy life. Fellowship with God and others. Accept the challenges. They make us who we are. They draw us closer to Him. And, don't be afraid to go to hard places. Don't fear needing God. Embrace it.

Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus.

Come and Gone

     It’s hard to believe my time back in Uganda is already reaching its end. So much planning, praying, hoping, and time is put into preparing my heart and self ready to return that I hate how fast the time has flown by. It seems like yesterday, I was boarding that long plane ride to come to my second home…and now, once again, the time has come and gone. Oh, how I wish I could freeze time. It’s funny the feeling I have noticed I have gotten both times when it has reached the end. Yes, part of me is very excited to go home. I am excited to see friends, sleep in my bed, be in my comfortable place, watch a movie on the couch, eat chick fil a, and finally go to the movies to see Les Mis. But, just an equally part of me is breaking at the thought of leaving Uganda. I am sad to leave friendships, kids I have grown to love as if they were my own, exhilarating boda rides, walks through the village with my hand held by multiple children, being uncomfortable, witnessing that God is good no matter where on the map I am, and being surprised constantly (in a good way, of course).

We attempted to make chocolate chip cookies for the kids but failed, so they each enjoyed a little bit of cookie dough also known as a "sweetie".

     We spent the past week in Pallisa at Kerith Children’s Home. Pallisa is very different from Jinja. If Jinja is a “city”, Pallisa is “very country”. It takes a while to get there and you go down this one dirt road for a long time where I felt like I was out of my seat more than in it. But, it’s a really neat place, and it has that small town feel which I liked. We stayed at Pastor Sam’s house. They were so kind to us, and this was really neat because I felt like I got to know them really well. Sam’s wife, Mercy is an absolute sweetheart, and we became good friends. One day, Lauren wasn’t feeling well and was in bed pretty much all day, so Mercy and I walked into town to get some soup and juice for her stomach. We talked a lot and hit it off because she is so easy to talk to. Our personalities are similar too, so we joked around a lot with each other. She is very beautiful inside and out, and she is very charismatic. I can tell that everyone loves her. She is so cute and is such a girly girl. She grew up in Nairobi in Kenya, which is a very big city, so she said Pallisa is harder for her to live in because she is a city girl. I love her faith though. She knows that God has called Sam to minister in the area of Pallisa and she supports him and trusts that God has them there right now, which I admire a lot. 

Kerith kids

      We experienced a lot while there that was good and challenging. First off, we had no power most of the time, which was very interesting. This took some getting used to. And, because of this, there was no way to shower. So, for one week we were not able to shower. I know, that is crazy. Although, for the first time I got to experience bathing with a bucket. We both did that once during the week, which I thought was hilarious. It’s funny because I have prayed to get to see how they live life, so there ya go…I definitely experienced it. About eight of the kids were still at Kerith, so we got to know them well. At times, it was hard because most of them don’t speak English super well but thankfully two of the older girls were able to help us, so we did the best we could. One day, they wanted us to sing to them, so for some reason that resulted in us choosing Baby by Justin Bieber. Which we ended up teaching them and have videos of them singing it. It was very cute. Pastor Sam messaged us today and said he keeps hearing "baby baby" throughout the home. It is also very hot in Pallisa, so we got dehydrated a lot and had to rest more than usual. We went to Pastor Sam's church Sunday and was once again asked to speak to the kids. They ended up singing for us and then asked us to sing for them. We gave it a go with and sang the best we could A Capella…I was surprised at how it didn’t go too awful.

Sometimes not having power is a beautiful thing.

      On the way up to Pallisa, Pastor Sam had said there was a youth conference for all the youth in the area the week we were there and wanted us to speak at it. We said yes of course but if you really know me, I do not do not like public speaking, but we took on the challenge. (I’ve noticed God has been putting me in situations like this a lot lately, so I am trying to get over my uncomfort of doing it). One night, he came home and said he told the youth “two international speakers were coming to speak to them.”…two international speakers? HA.  We got a kick out of that. We prepared this whole thing the night before and then when we arrived at the conference, we both felt uneasy about what we had prepared, so God totally changed our whole talk around. Mercy had brought us there, and she had told us she was introducing us. She said she was going to introduce as single and searching as a joke, but I personally thought she was kidding, but low and behold, she got up there and said, “Welcome my friends all the way from America and your international speakers, Lauren and Caroline, single and searching.” Everyone cheered and it was quite hilarious. I’m kind of glad she said it because it was a good icebreaker. Since we had decided to completely talk about other stuff five minutes before we talked, I wasn’t sure how it was going to turn out, but God’s spirit led us which I always love watching God do. I loved being around the youth and watching them interact. It made me think of Young Life and how excited I am for this semester.

Speaking at the youth conference and experiencing having a translator.

      We had a couple of occasions where we were able to go into different villages and see some of the kids we met last time. Lauren got to see the little girl she sponsors. We walked to her village, and she wasn’t there yet, so we decided to pull out fingernail polish for the few kids that were around while we waited. I have found that in Africa, if you pull out something for the kids, they spread the word far, and before we knew it, there was over 50 kids in front of us. It was slightly insane. But, it was good to see Miriam. We brought her back to Kerith with us and fed her and let her play. Since, we met her last time, we had never seen her smile. She tends to look like she is upset all the time on her face, but for the first time that day, we saw her smile. Lauren loved this and was able to get a picture.

Lauren with sweet Miriam.

     Our last night there, I was feeling very discouraged for some reason. I kept feeling like we weren’t being effective and that I had been selfish a lot, and I was just feeling tired and weary. I told Lauren about it. I am so thankful for her, because she spoke a lot of truth to me. She reminded me that we will always be selfish and that God has for sure used us since we have been here. Looking back, how could I question this when I have seen God so much?  I immediately prayed and spent time in the Word about this, and God spoke to me exactly what I needed. He led me to Isaiah 40. A part that really stuck out to me says…”Comfort, comfort my people, says your God. Speak tenderly to Jerusalem, and proclaim to her that her hard service has been completed, that her sin has been paid for, that she has received from the Lord’s hand double for all her sins…The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired and weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord shall renew their strength. They will sour on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not be faint.” I LOVE this. God reminded me that Satan is constantly lying to me and that I need to listen for His voice, a voice that brings peace and reminds me of how much I am loved and have been redeemed. One of my favorite verses is Isaiah 43:1 which says, “Fear not for I have redeemed you. I have called you by name; you are mine.” I am His. He has called me and He has led me here. And I KNOW that He uses me, and I am so thankful for that. It's all about HIM.

Walking through the villages is one of my favorite things to do in Uganda.

     Yesterday, we went to see the babies one last time to say goodbye. This was hard. When we walked in, Damalie told me Noah has malaria and something is wrong with his right arm. I went over and picked him up, and the second I touched him he started crying in pain because of his arm. She said they took him to the hospital and nothing appeared to be broken, so they think there might be another issue, possibly his lungs. He cried more than I have ever seen him cry, for he normally rarely cries. I carefully snuggled him up to me, and his crying stopped. I sat and held him for three hours. I looked down at the face of this sweet boy that is HIV+, has TB and Malaria, and is having pain from an unknown cause. For a moment, I questioned why this was happening to him, but I know God is sovereign, and Noah will get better. Please pray with me for him. Putting him down was extremely difficult, because I knew when we left, he wouldn’t be comforted like I was able to in that short time. All the workers have 16 other babies to care for, too. Saying goodbye hasn’t completely sunk in yet. I don’t think I will really feel the reality of it until I am home. I always try to remind myself that I know I have hope that I will see them again, but that doesn’t make it any easier.

The incredible Damalie. I pray I will have a faith like hers.

     Since I arrived at Canaan, I had been trying to find a way to locate Vivian, so I could see her. Right before leaving for Pallisa, I was finally given a number to her uncle (where she was staying) who to my surprise lives in Pallisa. I tried calling him a couple of days and couldn’t get a hold of him. Finally, one day he answered and told me that Vivian was in Kampala with her aunt. He gave me the number. I knew we passed through Kampala on the way to Entebbe, so I wanted to try and see her. I couldn’t get a hold of the aunt either for days. Yesterday, I thought to try again. She answered, and I was able to talk to Vivian on the phone. When I told her I was going to come see her the next day, she screamed and her aunt said she was so excited! Today, I was only able to spend 15 minutes with her, but I know she felt special that I took the time to find her and come to her. I also found out that yesterday was her birthday, so I was so happy that I was able to tell her on her birthday I was coming to see her! What a surprise! When we came to Canaan last time, I was one of the last people off the bus. When we get off the bus, there are always children coming to grab you to be their new friend. Since I had gotten off almost last, the crowd of kids had died down quite a bit. But, the second I got off, I looked up and saw this little energetic girl running toward me. She grabbed hold of my hand and barely let it go until I left. Vivian loves to sing and is so goofy…we go perfect together. And to get to return and see her again was one of the best moments of being here for me. When we were pulling away was the first time that I let it hit me that I was leaving and had to fight back the tears. You see, when I felt the Lord calling me to come back, I was so excited to see all my little kiddos but arriving at Canaan and seeing that only two kids were there was very hard for me. I don’t want to be just a person who comes on short trips and tells these kids I will see them again and I love them and then never return. I want relationships with them. I want them to truly feel that they are cared for and loved so much by someone. But, even though I didn’t think I would see Vivian, Mayi, or Ruthie when I heard the kids were gone, God knew that I would see them. Praising Him for this!!

My Vivian.

And, her brother, Lucky. He has maleria, so please join me in praying that he will recover quickly.

     Today, we travelled back to Entebbe. It turned out that Papa Isaac and Mama had to go to Kampala to a wedding, so we were just going to ride with them and then the driver would continue driving us to Entebbe. When we got to the wedding, we found out we were going to wait until the wedding was over to leave and then take them to the reception and then we would go to Entebbe. So, we waited. And, when it was over, everyone came outside and started taking pictures. Pastor Isaac called us over to meet some of his friends. The photographer called for a family photo, and they pointed at us and told us to get it. I seriously laughed the whole time we were standing there, because now we are in some random person’s family wedding photo. When we have left Pastor Sam's and Pastor Isaac's, they both with their wives have prayed powerful prayers over us that brought tears to my eyes. It is so encouraging to be loved so much by this family and to have formed awesome relationships with them. We are back at the Calvert's for the night. Nancy is in Kenya, which I am very sad we don't get to see her before we leave, but we have had a wonderful time with Bob. Thank you Jesus that Nancy made us a pasta dish to eat before she left, for I desperately needed a taste of American food. We had leftover chocolate chip cookie packets, so we told Bob we were going to make some, and he said we were welcome anytime as long as we bring those. He was overjoyed. We sat and talked to him for like two hours and learned all about Krav Maga, which now we are both very interested in (He ended up giving a lessons...woooooo...watch out world ;)...). He told us all about the unreached people groups of Uganda and missionary work. Some real interesting stuff. I seriously love love love The Calverts!
       I am a little anxious and worried about leaving tomorrow because I haven’t been feeling well for the past couple of days. My stomach has been bothering me, and I have had a constant headache and barely eaten anything. I think I am dehydrated, so when we got to Bob and Nancy’s, Bob made me drink two glasses of water before I did anything else. Please pray for us as we travel and that I would feel a lot better tomorrow.  I can’t wait to come home to that colder weather and good ole’ Tennessee! First thing on my list to do is grab a sweet tea!

“How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you? Would you tell me, how could it be any better than this?”

Alima at Kerith is such a beautiful girl inside and out.

This little dude is Karim. He is quite the dancer.

We bought the kids a coke from the local store as a treat. They loved it.

Happenings in the Last Week

          It’s hard to believe that we have only been here a week. It seems like we have settled and have been here a while. Coming apart from a team has been really good for us. It has given us an idea of how it would feel to live here for some time. I have loved that instead of feeling like a tourist, I feel as though I am wrapped up in the lives of those around me and entering their world. Everyday, we wake up at 8, and Betty makes us breakfast, we eat, we hop on our boda, drive through the village to Sangaalo, work with the babies until 6, come back to Canaan, go out into the village and be with the children, eat dinner, go to sleep, and then it all starts over. It has become a routine that I enjoy and am used to. Now, as we drive down the dirt road to Sangaalo, the kids are becoming familiar with us. We are no longer stranger muzungus but friends who wave to them everyday. It is so fun to wave to all the kids and see them get really excited.

Some of the babies at Sangaalo.

          The longer we have been here, the more that the people we work with have become family. Papa Isaac and Mama Rebekah have taken us in and treated us as their very own. Every night, papa comes to say hi to us at dinner, and we end up talking to him for some time. He is such a sweet man, and he makes me feel at home. I ran into him as I was walking through Canaan last night and had the pleasure to talk to him one on one. He knows that I am in nursing school, and he tells me that after I graduate, Canaan is always open to me, and that he would love for me to come work in the clinic. That was exciting to hear. When I look back on the last two years, so much has happened. Two years ago, I had no idea that I would be going to Uganda in the summer of 2012. And, now I am here with Lauren forming relationships that I would have never thought possible. It’s really neat to see all that God has done in my life. It makes me really excited about my future. I love that God gives me visions for where I see myself going in life, and then he makes them possible. Papa also told me that he is praying I find a husband that loves God, loves Africa, and is very handsome. I laughed and said that would be nice. He told me the importance of marrying a man that my ministry does not have to stop, but that it is a beautiful thing when a man and woman do ministry together. I love that he cares enough about me to take time to talk to me and tell me these things. He has become like a grandfather and a great friend. Tonight, at dinner he told us more about his testimony. In the 70s, when Uganda had a Muslim ruler, Pastor Isaac was a Christian pastor, and he was taken captive and taken from his home. He was taken to a camp with other pastors and was tortured and starved. After some time of this, they were all blindfolded and brought out in a line.  They were shot one by one. Papa was on the end and said he was so weak that he was falling over when they shot him. Instead of hitting his heart, it hit his arm. He lay there for days thinking he was about to die because of all the pain and blood he had lost. Thinking they were all dead, the soldiers loaded them all up in a truck, took them out and dumped them in a ditch. While he was waiting to die, he heard a voice say, “Isaac, I am saving your life, so that you may save the lives of my fatherless children.”  And, now he runs Canaan Children’s home that is home to 120 orphaned and abandoned children.

          Damalie has also become like family. Her heart for sick and abandoned babies is such a delight to witness. She treats us with such kindness and is one of the sweetest women I have ever met. She works us hard everyday and is not afraid to ask us to do things. I like this, because she treats us like one of her staff. We have gotten used to the babies and gotten the routine down. We have our ones that cling to us more than others, and it is so sweet now that when we walk in the door, they come crawling to us and want us to hold them. I catch myself daydreaming sometimes thinking….in just a couple more years, I could adopt one of them. One of the babies that I have gotten close to is named Faith. She has begun to talk a lot, and she keeps calling me mama. Oh, how this is hard on my heart. (Although, she calls all the other workers mama, I like to think that I am special, for she runs to me often and puts her arms around me). It is hard to get attached to an orphan and then have to leave them when all you want is to give them love. I am dreading the day we leave, for I know there will be lots of tears and hard times, but I had faith last time that I would return, and I have learned never to underestimate God (or at least I know this, but way too often, fail to live my life by it). He has given me a heart for these children, and I know it doesn’t end here. Damalie and her husband David are such an incredible couple. They shared their story with me the other day, and it was another one of countless stories of faithfulness.  Damalie has known her whole life that she would one day care for babies who are abandoned. When she was on her own, at a young age, she adopted two little girls. When she was working for another baby home, David was working for another ministry who would help the baby home and bring them supplies. With a smile on his face, he said he knew he liked her when he first met her, so he would always volunteer to take the stuff. Damalie said she was hard on him and made him wait three years before she agreed to marry him. She knew she wanted to have a home full of orphaned babies and already had two of her own and thought that he would never want that. But, he was persistent. He says he knew she said she wanted babies to stay with them, but we laughed and said he got more than he bargained for. They live in a home with 5 children of their own including the two girls Damalie adopted and 16 other babies. It is so cool seeing that he loved her so much that her dreams became his and watching them both care for the babies is so sweet. He has a big heart for youth, so during the day, he goes out to do ministry with them. They are very welcoming to us and keep telling me that I have to come back.

This is Faith standing up to give a hug. 

          

          Yesterday, Damalie took us shopping with her to the market. That was an experience, let me tell you. It was crazy. But, once again, I loved feeling like I was in the middle of their culture. We helped her carry all the veggies and fruits and other stuff for a couple of hours, and I told her I had no idea how she would have done this alone. She laughed and said in Africa, they are used to carrying a lot (Something I am still getting used to).  When we returned to Sangaalo, Lauren and I had put together little gifts for Damalie’s staff…just some basic stuff for their families like clothes, toothbrushes and toothpaste, toys, soap, and a bible for each of the workers. As we handed them out, some of them were so excited that I almost started crying. Something so little to us means the world to them. It makes you really think how much we take for granted what we have that even the small things to us are so big to them. I am thankful God used us to bless them. Also, thanks to Mrs. Keltner’s class at SBEC and Mrs. Sid, we were able to bring them a whole suitcase of needs. Damalie was overjoyed at all the stuff and was very grateful.

Damalie and her girls with their gifts.

        

         The doctor came to check the babies a couple of days ago. Damalie asked me to help her with holding them while he checked them. I loved this, because I told him I wanted to a pediatric nurse, and everything he did, he showed me why he was doing it and how to do it. This was so neat and makes me more excited about it.  One little baby that I have become attached to is named Noah. He is the second oldest there, but is so little that it is hard to tell that. He is almost two and can barely move on his own. He is HIV+ and has TB. He has little tiny legs that are very disproportional to his body. He has the same expression all the time, but today, I finally got him to laugh, which was adorable I might add. I have been helping him roll over and stand some. I am going to try to work with him everyday, so that he can gain some strength. He never cries unless one of the other babies rolls on him and he is so so so so sweet.  My other two are Sara and Semilie. They are twins and are absolutely precious. Semilie is the serious one and Sara never stops smiling, but they both crawl to me anytime I sit down, and today they did not want me to put them in their cribs for nap. Semilie cried and cried until finally I just had to walk away. They both are precious and have stolen my heart.

This is little Noah.

These are the twins, Sara and Semilie.

        On Sunday, we were going to go to church with Damalie, but because of it raining, our boda was delayed. As we were waiting in our room, I looked out the window and saw some of the village kids who had come into Canaan for children’s church. I went out there and joined their circle of singing. A man who works for Canaan was leading them and after they were finished, he looked at me and said, “You are most welcome. You give word to us.” In other words, you preach to us. So, there on the spot, I had to give a message. It was all kids, so that was easy. It’s funny now to look back and think about it though. After I talked, Lauren did too. We laugh about it now and say we have preached. We taught them duck duck goose after, which they all loved, and one little girl said, “duck, duck, duck, juice!!!”

          I am learning new things everyday here. Slowly, I am trying to catch on to some of the Lugandan language. I want to study it when I go home to see if I can improve. We know a few basic words, but we want to learn it a lot better. Most people know the basics of English, which is nice. All the children call me Auntie Carol with their cute little accents, although they laugh at my southern one when I say, “Hiiii (drawn out) yallll). They think it is hilarious. All is well for us health wise which is an answer to prayer. It is awful to feel sick while in the country. We experiment with the food but make sure to be careful. We have found this café downtown that has food close to American food that is our run to place when we need a break. We are having issues with cockroaches in our bathroom, which we will continue to have to get used to. Lauren tonight said, “I just want to go home to use the toilet and then come back.” Speaking of toilets…last story I promise…when we were on our way to Jinja from Entebbe, our driver did not speak very good English. The drive is about three hours so at one point, we had to use the restroom. For ten minutes, we tried to explain to him that we had to go, but he just wasn’t getting it. Finally, Lauren said, “Toilet!! We need toilet!!” He finally understood, and it was hilarious.

Praising God for his presence with us at all times. We are continuing to remember that with Him, all things are possible. We are praying for miracles and excited to keep watching him surprise us. Every day is an adventure, but it only makes the journey more exciting, which we are never opposed to.  Sorry this was a long one. I just found the strength and time to blog, so I had a lot to share. Love to you all!

Our boda driver, Selu. 

Lauren and her baby, Jordan.