"Say So"

If you follow my blog, then you may remember that at the end of last semester, I wrote a post about what I expected my summer to look like. My prayer for this past summer was for God to remind me of who He is. I think in the business of life, it's easy to forget this, and I found myself giving into that.

A huge part of my summer this year was Young Life. I took girls to camp at Sharp Top Cove for the first time, and I also had the opportunity to serve on summer staff at Frontier Ranch for three weeks. One of my favorite things about YL camp is at the end of every week, kids get the opportunity to participate in something we like to call "Say So". It's based off the verse from Psalm 107:2 that says, "Let the redeemed of The Lord say so..." They get to stand up and proclaim that they have come home to the Father.This is such a beautiful picture of redemption. I love it. 

With that said, The Lord answered my prayer and reminded me of Him this summer. He did some incredible things in my life and around me that I would love to proclaim. So, here I am to have my own "Say So" of sorts.  

This first story is about my good friend, Jalen. Jalen is a junior at Elizabethton high school. We met last fall at YL club. Like most people, J has gone through some rough stuff this past year. We talked through it often, and I remember conversation after conversation where J found herself in a series of doubt, not knowing if God was real. She had a hard time with believing and trusting in a God when there was so much pain going on in her and around her. Because of this, I was really excited about J going to Sharp Top Cove with me. I knew that she would hear the good news of Gospel in an amazing way.

On June 30th, we were on our way! This was my first time leading at week long camp, so I was really nervous. At the beginning of the week, Jalen told me that she still was in this doubt, but that she was open and excited to listen to the speaker. I told her to not be afraid to ask God to reveal Himself to her, and that I believed He would do that. As the week went on, she was really receptive to the talks, and we had lots of time to talk about them together. On the fifth night of camp, the cross talk is given. After club, everyone goes outside in the darkness, and there is 20 minutes of silence throughout all of camp. This is a time where kids can talk to God, look at the stars, or just think about all they have heard up until this point. It had been raining almost everyday at Sharp Top, so they had told us in leader meeting that they were just going to send them out if it wasn't raining at the time to do it.

So, the time came and the rain had held up, so the 20 minutes began. About 5 minutes in, it started raining...and not just sprinkling, it came a downpour. When they rang the bell, everyone ran back to their cabins. The next day Jalen kept telling me that she wanted to show me something in her journal, but we never got around to it. That night after club they were given another opportunity to go outside and experience the same thing. In our cabin time after, we asked the girls how they spent their 20 minutes outside. Everyone went around, and then it came to Jalen. She said that needed to get her journal and then she said, "I wrote this last night in the 20 minutes. You can't read it well because it was dark, but I wrote...God, if you are real, make it pour." We all just sat there in silence for a few seconds soaking it all in. This was my favorite moment from camp. It brought sweet tears to my eyes, and Jalen came home to the Father that week.

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When Lauren and I returned to Uganda in January, the pastor of one of the orphanages we work with pulled us aside before we left to share with us a big need they have. He told us they really needed a van to transport the kids to and from school and church. He believed that God was leading him to ask us for help. He told us that he would like us to raise $16,000. We listened and said we would try. But, when we left, we both looked at each other like...he's crazy. There's no way two 20 year olds can do that. So, time went on. Occasionally we would talk about it and mention that we should come up with a plan, but we really didn't try to do anything. Looking back, I know it was because of lack of faith. In our minds, that was a big number that just wasn't reachable. It's funny now thinking about it. Up until that point, we never stopped and just asked God for help. We never presented the need to Him in faith that He would meet us. We completely relied on ourselves.

Towards the middle of the summer, I went to the beach with Lauren's family. One morning when we woke up, Lauren and I decided to start praying everyday that God would give us vision to raise this money. We begged him to help us.

A little bit before this, we had set up a donation page. We had shared the word that we were raising money a little bit through social media, but nothing too big. Time went by and in July, we had about $250 on there. We still just kept praying and waiting.

I went off to Frontier Ranch to work for three weeks. When you do summer staff, they ask you to turn your phone in, so you can grow with poeple you're serving with. Every Thursday, we would get our phones back for a few hours. A week goes by. and I got my phone back. I had a text from Lauren that said to go look at the donation page. I was shocked to see that we had about $1000. I knew that that was only a small portion of what we needed, but it was a start. The next time I turned it on, she had texted me saying, "This is a HORRIBLE time for you to not have your phone!" I went to the page and couldn't believe my eyes....$8,000!!! In two weeks! I sat there and tears just started falling. In my mind, God was doing a lot, and we should be happy that we were half way there. We could worry about the rest later.

The third Thursday comes around. I had an overflowing amount of texts from Lauren and friends telling me to go the page. I went and just sat in utter awe. Not only did we have $16000, but we had an excess amount of money. I once again started crying but laughing too. I seriously couldn't believe it. I remember I kept thinking this has to be a dream. There is no way.

Three weeks. That's all it took for God to move in a big way. I was reminded so much of the power of my Father. You know, I think Lauren and I didn't ask sooner, because I think we often just forget to ask for the big things. In our head, we think that it's impossible and too much to ask, but during those three weeks, I was reminded so much of the goodness of God. Nothing is too big for Him. Something I love about this story and that God taught me is that He doesn't need me to do it. I was away from my reality for three weeks. I didn't have constant communication with anyone, but yet all the money came through. He doesn't need me to do His work. This was really humbling for me.

I'm thankful for a God that deosn't need me, but still chooses to use me. I'm thankful for a God that does crazy, unimagineable things. I'm thankful for a God that sees His children's needs and meets them. I'm thankful for all of you that gave your money, so our friends in Pallisa, Uganda can have a means of transportation.

Pastor Sam and the children at Kerith

The new truck

Adopted

About a month ago, we had our final gathering as young life leaders in upper East Tennessee before we all dove into our summer adventures. This was a joyful but rather sad time together. It was the last time we would all be together. I say last time, because we said bye to some really special people who have served whole heartedly in YL in our area for years and have now been called else where. There were lots of tears and tissues, but it was mostly a celebration of laughter and excitement. A time to reflect on how God has chosen us all to further His Kingdom through this incredible ministry. What an honor. As I sat there listening to the words being said about each individual, I couldn't help but to think...If that were me up there, what would people say about me? What will people say about me years from now? Now, I don't want you to think I am saying how can I make myself better, so I can be noticed more. Yes, that is a selfish desire that I think most people feel at some point. But, what I am saying is, is the love of Christ so evident in my life that the outflow of it changes lives through the Grace of God?  Am I being a disciple of Jesus Christ? Am I passionate about my relationship with Him? Am I zealous and bold?  Am I confident because I belong to the Lord most high and he is satisfyer of my soul? And for that matter, do I fill myself up with Him or things of this world? These are questions I've been fighting for months. Am I who God wants me to be? The truth is I'm not. I'm far from it. Truth is I've been in a rut. Like most people, I get in these valleys and try to get it out on my own, but I fail everytime. (emphasis on I). 

That same night we were asked to write ourselves a letter. A letter that we would receive in the mail at the end of summer. We were told to write about our goals for the summer. How we wanted to grow and where we wanted to be by the end of it. We were reminded that the summer is a beautiful time to really grow in your relationship with the Lord. To rest in Him and spend an abundance of time with Him because of breaks from school or other obligations. (unless of course you are in summer school...but thank goodness, I'm not). The same question came up in my mind. Who do I want to be? How do I want to be different come fall 2013? I found myself coming back to the same desire...Lord, remind of you. Remind me of how great your love is. Capture my heart again and again. Give me a desire for you. It's funny how much God can reveal himself to you by simply just asking. 

A couple of days ago, as I was driving to Birmingham, I decided to listen to a sermon to make the time go by fast. I chose one by David Platt on Adoption. (if you have a chance, I highly recommend this sermon. It was his Easter Sunday one from a few years ago). It was a fairly easy choice, because I have a heart for orphans and adoption and jump at the chance to hear what older and wiser people have to say about it. As I was listening to it, I couldn't help but to be extremely moved. The focus of the sermon was how we are adopted into the family of God. How just like adoption on earth, there is a cost, there are requirements, and there are different sacrifices that have to be made to adopt a child. Me being adopted comes with a price. Christ died so that I could be reconciled with my father. He changed my status. He paid a price that would forever allow me to have a heavenly Daddy. Someone to fight for me to have hope, peace, freedom, and protection. He talked about all the parallels between us adopting on earth and God adopting us. 

 People driving beside me probably thought something was terribly wrong with me because I couldnt control the tears. I love the idea of adoption. Not because it's a good thing to do, but because without me being adopted, I would be lost, alone, starving, hopeless, and insignificant. But, listening to this reminded me... I am a child of God. He saw that I was alone and weak, and he ran to my rescue. He chose me. He persues me. He fights for me. He believes in me. He listens to me. He never gives up on me. He forgives me. He accepts me. He blesses me. He redeems me. He loves me. He adopted me.  He thinks I'm worth it.

My life is forever changed because I call God, Abba. My Father. I believe just like God changes us, we can change a life. We can choose to do as Christ has done to us and offer a life of hope and significance. We can ask God to give us the courage to love his children. We can fight for those who have no one to fight for them. We can fulfill Gods command to love the orphans and take care of them. You may have no desire to adopt. You may not feel that call. But, do something. Stop living a life of mediocrity. Be a voice for the voiceless. Consider how Christ changed your life by adopting you and consider the joy and blessings God can give you by being brave and following Him and running to the rescue of his many children all over the world suffering because they do not have someone to love them on a earth. Be the change you wish to see in the world. 

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,

That saved a wretch like me....

I once was lost but now am found,

Was blind, but now, I see.

On this Father's Day, I'm thankful to have a dad that died for me to be a part of his family. Who persues me with his love. Who adopts me as his own. I am no longer an outcast or abandoned to my sin. Amen.




I'm also really thankful that God gave me an earthly father who is pretty incredible. Who has shown me the love of Christ constantly by encouraging me, bringing me up in the faith, forgiving my faults, believing in me, and understanding me no matter what. I am thankful I know the Lord, because my dad committed to show me the way to Him and point me to Truth. What an honor it is to be your daughter, daddy. You amaze me everyday by your strength and servant's heart.




If you have 7 minutes and 54 seconds, I encourage you to watch this video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWHJ6-YhSYQ

In the Potter's Hands

Ever have those days where you question everything? You're stressed and all you want to do is give up. Drop everything and walk away. If you are anything like me, this has happened a time or two...maybe quite possibly more than that. The theme of this semester for me has been Trust. Trust that He will never leave me. Trust that I am right where He wants me. Trust that I will be okay. Trust that He knows me better than I know myself. Trust that inspite of the hard things, He is and will forever be good. These are truths that I forget so easily. I am very much so a type A personality. I like plans, and I like control. And, when I don't have control, I tend to freak out. I've known this about myself for a while, but God has really been pointing it out in my life recently. For the first time in my life, school does not come naturally. I have to study more than I ever have before and still don't do great. In one of my classes, I bombed the first test. There are only three tests, so this really put pressure on me. Because of that one test, I could have failed the class. Looking back, I remember the long, tiring nights thinking why am I doing this? Is this worth it? But, then something happened. I started learning that I literally would not pass on my own. There would be no way I could make it through this semester without the Lord's help. I had my final test on Monday in the class I was borderline in. I remember Sunday night, I felt awful about it..not prepared..stressed..at the point I was referring to earlier...ya know, the drop everything and not just walk but run? Sometimes, I think God looks down on me and probably laughs. Not in a making fun of way, but in a "Caroline, I have you. You are mine. Just breathe." I decided there was nothing else I could do to prepare. If I failed, I failed. If I passed, I passed. Laying there, I couldn't sleep, so I grabbed my Jesus Calling book curious to how Jesus could speak to me in that moment. This is what I read.."I am the Potter; you are My clay. I designed you before the foundation of the world. I arrange the events of each day to form you into this preconceived pattern. My everlasting Love is at work in every event of your life. On some days your will and Mine flow smoothly together. You tend to feel in control of your life when our wills are in harmony. On other days you feel as if you are swimming upstream, against the current of My purposes. When that happens, stop and seek My face. The opposition you feel may be from Me, or it may be from the evil one. Talk with Me about what you are experiencing. Let my Spirit guide you through treacherous waters. As you move through the turbulent stream with Me, let circumstances mold you into the one I desire you to be. Say yes to your potter as you go through this day." I couldn't have asked for a better reminder. He is the Potter. I am the clay. I don't know what the future has for me, but I do know who holds my future. And, I know that right now, in this moment, I am exactly where I am supposed to be. And, if God wants me to be a nurse, then I trust that He will get me through. This reminded me of the first chapter of Love Does by Bob Goff. I sat down and started reading this book the other day. The first chapter really got my attention. One, this guy Randy who was Bob's young life leader is totally awesome....to drop everything and drive across the country with Bob...I mean seriously, that's incredible. But, anyway...what I loved about this chapter is the reoccuring..."I'm with you." Randy just keeps saying to Bob, "I'm with you." Wherever Bob went, Randy followed...never judging, never trying to convince him that he is stupid for being there, not trying to fix him, but just simply being present and supporting Bob. This is Jesus to me. He is by my side and constantly saying, "I am with you. I've got you. I am your Potter. You are my clay, and I make no mistakes." This is hope people, and I am thankful. Love does.

"Yet, O Lord, you are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand."

-Isaiah 64:8

Oh, and remember that test I was really worried about? I passed and did really well. Thanks, God.

Let thy will be done

I write this with a heavy heart. A heart of confusion and in need. Life is so crazy right now. Since returning home from Uganda in January, I immediately started thinking about when I would head back...no surprise there, right? As I got back into the swing of things, I began realizing that the truth might just be that God does not have it in his plan for me to go back this summer. I started nursing school and quickly realized the commitment in it. Time. Energy. Lack of social life. And, as I began adjusting to this new way of life, I told myself that I really didn't think I would go back this summer, simply for the reason of there is no way I will have the time to raise and save the money to go. I had decided I had made my decision. But, I didn't realize the post emotional effect it would have on me. My heart began to hurt and long to be back. I found myself looking at pictures over and over again. I questioned whether I was doing the right thing.I have been wrestling with this for a while. And, in the past week, it has really taken hold of me. Reminders of Uganda were everywhere...in things people would say, in songs I heard, in a book I am reading, etc. I don't know why, but I just kept thinking...maybe I am wrong. Maybe, I made the decision without truly asking God to show me His will. So, thats where I'm at.... in limbo of some sorts. confused. You know, I say I need to see God open doors for clarification, but the truth is doors are open. Wide open, actually. So, why am I afraid to walk through? Money, perhaps. I need a job this summer, perhaps. I just can't do it, perhaps. But, when I think about the root in those excuses, it really comes down to....it's all about me. I think when we find ourselves in situations that are all about us...we miss out on the BIG, EXCITING things God does because it's all about Him. So, the question remains....what will I do? Wait, scratch that. What will God do? Please pray for me as I beg God to show me His way. Not mine.

Reflection

Well, I have been home for 5 days now. It is crazy how fast it all has gone by. I have found myself thinking a lot about my time back in Uganda and just reflecting on how good God is and how honored I feel that He has provided for me every step of the way to go there twice and hopefully many more times to come. These past five days have been hard. It's always difficult to adjust, and I have had some weird sickness that causes me to only feel ill at night. I started nursing school, which you can imagine overwhelmed me almost to tears, but I am excited. To get places in life, you have to work hard, and I know that this will lead me to great things and where God wants me.

The big question that everyone asks is, "how was it?" I always laugh inside because this question is not simple. The more I have thought about this, I have found my answer, but is it what I thought it would be when I started planning my trip back? No, not at all. My answer is...it was hard. Really hard. But, I think that's okay. The other day I was talking to someone about it, and I said...It was hard, but you know you're in the right place when it isn't easy. And, I fully believe this. I think God calls us to be uncomfortable. To be challenged and to be pushed. It's not easy to go to a third world country and serve those around you. It's not easy to live life completely differently than how you have lived. It's not easy to walk with Jesus. But, it's rewarding, and it's the greatest gift in the world.

Listening to stories from my missionary friends in Uganda and experiencing some of it myself makes me have so much respect for people who truly give up their lives to follow Jesus. My friend, Bob, told us not just anybody can go over seas and serve. It is a big sacrifice. This got me thinking and is very true. I am so thankful for the missionaries we have all over the world risking their lives so others can come to know this great Love that we have. I only pray that if this is God's future for me, that I would be just as bold and courageous.

Reflection. 

My time in Uganda was not easy. My time back at home is not easy. But, life is good. God is good. Laughter is loud. Friendship is near. And, love is present. Wherever you are, enjoy life. Fellowship with God and others. Accept the challenges. They make us who we are. They draw us closer to Him. And, don't be afraid to go to hard places. Don't fear needing God. Embrace it.

Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus.

Come and Gone

     It’s hard to believe my time back in Uganda is already reaching its end. So much planning, praying, hoping, and time is put into preparing my heart and self ready to return that I hate how fast the time has flown by. It seems like yesterday, I was boarding that long plane ride to come to my second home…and now, once again, the time has come and gone. Oh, how I wish I could freeze time. It’s funny the feeling I have noticed I have gotten both times when it has reached the end. Yes, part of me is very excited to go home. I am excited to see friends, sleep in my bed, be in my comfortable place, watch a movie on the couch, eat chick fil a, and finally go to the movies to see Les Mis. But, just an equally part of me is breaking at the thought of leaving Uganda. I am sad to leave friendships, kids I have grown to love as if they were my own, exhilarating boda rides, walks through the village with my hand held by multiple children, being uncomfortable, witnessing that God is good no matter where on the map I am, and being surprised constantly (in a good way, of course).

We attempted to make chocolate chip cookies for the kids but failed, so they each enjoyed a little bit of cookie dough also known as a "sweetie".

     We spent the past week in Pallisa at Kerith Children’s Home. Pallisa is very different from Jinja. If Jinja is a “city”, Pallisa is “very country”. It takes a while to get there and you go down this one dirt road for a long time where I felt like I was out of my seat more than in it. But, it’s a really neat place, and it has that small town feel which I liked. We stayed at Pastor Sam’s house. They were so kind to us, and this was really neat because I felt like I got to know them really well. Sam’s wife, Mercy is an absolute sweetheart, and we became good friends. One day, Lauren wasn’t feeling well and was in bed pretty much all day, so Mercy and I walked into town to get some soup and juice for her stomach. We talked a lot and hit it off because she is so easy to talk to. Our personalities are similar too, so we joked around a lot with each other. She is very beautiful inside and out, and she is very charismatic. I can tell that everyone loves her. She is so cute and is such a girly girl. She grew up in Nairobi in Kenya, which is a very big city, so she said Pallisa is harder for her to live in because she is a city girl. I love her faith though. She knows that God has called Sam to minister in the area of Pallisa and she supports him and trusts that God has them there right now, which I admire a lot. 

Kerith kids

      We experienced a lot while there that was good and challenging. First off, we had no power most of the time, which was very interesting. This took some getting used to. And, because of this, there was no way to shower. So, for one week we were not able to shower. I know, that is crazy. Although, for the first time I got to experience bathing with a bucket. We both did that once during the week, which I thought was hilarious. It’s funny because I have prayed to get to see how they live life, so there ya go…I definitely experienced it. About eight of the kids were still at Kerith, so we got to know them well. At times, it was hard because most of them don’t speak English super well but thankfully two of the older girls were able to help us, so we did the best we could. One day, they wanted us to sing to them, so for some reason that resulted in us choosing Baby by Justin Bieber. Which we ended up teaching them and have videos of them singing it. It was very cute. Pastor Sam messaged us today and said he keeps hearing "baby baby" throughout the home. It is also very hot in Pallisa, so we got dehydrated a lot and had to rest more than usual. We went to Pastor Sam's church Sunday and was once again asked to speak to the kids. They ended up singing for us and then asked us to sing for them. We gave it a go with and sang the best we could A Capella…I was surprised at how it didn’t go too awful.

Sometimes not having power is a beautiful thing.

      On the way up to Pallisa, Pastor Sam had said there was a youth conference for all the youth in the area the week we were there and wanted us to speak at it. We said yes of course but if you really know me, I do not do not like public speaking, but we took on the challenge. (I’ve noticed God has been putting me in situations like this a lot lately, so I am trying to get over my uncomfort of doing it). One night, he came home and said he told the youth “two international speakers were coming to speak to them.”…two international speakers? HA.  We got a kick out of that. We prepared this whole thing the night before and then when we arrived at the conference, we both felt uneasy about what we had prepared, so God totally changed our whole talk around. Mercy had brought us there, and she had told us she was introducing us. She said she was going to introduce as single and searching as a joke, but I personally thought she was kidding, but low and behold, she got up there and said, “Welcome my friends all the way from America and your international speakers, Lauren and Caroline, single and searching.” Everyone cheered and it was quite hilarious. I’m kind of glad she said it because it was a good icebreaker. Since we had decided to completely talk about other stuff five minutes before we talked, I wasn’t sure how it was going to turn out, but God’s spirit led us which I always love watching God do. I loved being around the youth and watching them interact. It made me think of Young Life and how excited I am for this semester.

Speaking at the youth conference and experiencing having a translator.

      We had a couple of occasions where we were able to go into different villages and see some of the kids we met last time. Lauren got to see the little girl she sponsors. We walked to her village, and she wasn’t there yet, so we decided to pull out fingernail polish for the few kids that were around while we waited. I have found that in Africa, if you pull out something for the kids, they spread the word far, and before we knew it, there was over 50 kids in front of us. It was slightly insane. But, it was good to see Miriam. We brought her back to Kerith with us and fed her and let her play. Since, we met her last time, we had never seen her smile. She tends to look like she is upset all the time on her face, but for the first time that day, we saw her smile. Lauren loved this and was able to get a picture.

Lauren with sweet Miriam.

     Our last night there, I was feeling very discouraged for some reason. I kept feeling like we weren’t being effective and that I had been selfish a lot, and I was just feeling tired and weary. I told Lauren about it. I am so thankful for her, because she spoke a lot of truth to me. She reminded me that we will always be selfish and that God has for sure used us since we have been here. Looking back, how could I question this when I have seen God so much?  I immediately prayed and spent time in the Word about this, and God spoke to me exactly what I needed. He led me to Isaiah 40. A part that really stuck out to me says…”Comfort, comfort my people, says your God. Speak tenderly to Jerusalem, and proclaim to her that her hard service has been completed, that her sin has been paid for, that she has received from the Lord’s hand double for all her sins…The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired and weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord shall renew their strength. They will sour on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not be faint.” I LOVE this. God reminded me that Satan is constantly lying to me and that I need to listen for His voice, a voice that brings peace and reminds me of how much I am loved and have been redeemed. One of my favorite verses is Isaiah 43:1 which says, “Fear not for I have redeemed you. I have called you by name; you are mine.” I am His. He has called me and He has led me here. And I KNOW that He uses me, and I am so thankful for that. It's all about HIM.

Walking through the villages is one of my favorite things to do in Uganda.

     Yesterday, we went to see the babies one last time to say goodbye. This was hard. When we walked in, Damalie told me Noah has malaria and something is wrong with his right arm. I went over and picked him up, and the second I touched him he started crying in pain because of his arm. She said they took him to the hospital and nothing appeared to be broken, so they think there might be another issue, possibly his lungs. He cried more than I have ever seen him cry, for he normally rarely cries. I carefully snuggled him up to me, and his crying stopped. I sat and held him for three hours. I looked down at the face of this sweet boy that is HIV+, has TB and Malaria, and is having pain from an unknown cause. For a moment, I questioned why this was happening to him, but I know God is sovereign, and Noah will get better. Please pray with me for him. Putting him down was extremely difficult, because I knew when we left, he wouldn’t be comforted like I was able to in that short time. All the workers have 16 other babies to care for, too. Saying goodbye hasn’t completely sunk in yet. I don’t think I will really feel the reality of it until I am home. I always try to remind myself that I know I have hope that I will see them again, but that doesn’t make it any easier.

The incredible Damalie. I pray I will have a faith like hers.

     Since I arrived at Canaan, I had been trying to find a way to locate Vivian, so I could see her. Right before leaving for Pallisa, I was finally given a number to her uncle (where she was staying) who to my surprise lives in Pallisa. I tried calling him a couple of days and couldn’t get a hold of him. Finally, one day he answered and told me that Vivian was in Kampala with her aunt. He gave me the number. I knew we passed through Kampala on the way to Entebbe, so I wanted to try and see her. I couldn’t get a hold of the aunt either for days. Yesterday, I thought to try again. She answered, and I was able to talk to Vivian on the phone. When I told her I was going to come see her the next day, she screamed and her aunt said she was so excited! Today, I was only able to spend 15 minutes with her, but I know she felt special that I took the time to find her and come to her. I also found out that yesterday was her birthday, so I was so happy that I was able to tell her on her birthday I was coming to see her! What a surprise! When we came to Canaan last time, I was one of the last people off the bus. When we get off the bus, there are always children coming to grab you to be their new friend. Since I had gotten off almost last, the crowd of kids had died down quite a bit. But, the second I got off, I looked up and saw this little energetic girl running toward me. She grabbed hold of my hand and barely let it go until I left. Vivian loves to sing and is so goofy…we go perfect together. And to get to return and see her again was one of the best moments of being here for me. When we were pulling away was the first time that I let it hit me that I was leaving and had to fight back the tears. You see, when I felt the Lord calling me to come back, I was so excited to see all my little kiddos but arriving at Canaan and seeing that only two kids were there was very hard for me. I don’t want to be just a person who comes on short trips and tells these kids I will see them again and I love them and then never return. I want relationships with them. I want them to truly feel that they are cared for and loved so much by someone. But, even though I didn’t think I would see Vivian, Mayi, or Ruthie when I heard the kids were gone, God knew that I would see them. Praising Him for this!!

My Vivian.

And, her brother, Lucky. He has maleria, so please join me in praying that he will recover quickly.

     Today, we travelled back to Entebbe. It turned out that Papa Isaac and Mama had to go to Kampala to a wedding, so we were just going to ride with them and then the driver would continue driving us to Entebbe. When we got to the wedding, we found out we were going to wait until the wedding was over to leave and then take them to the reception and then we would go to Entebbe. So, we waited. And, when it was over, everyone came outside and started taking pictures. Pastor Isaac called us over to meet some of his friends. The photographer called for a family photo, and they pointed at us and told us to get it. I seriously laughed the whole time we were standing there, because now we are in some random person’s family wedding photo. When we have left Pastor Sam's and Pastor Isaac's, they both with their wives have prayed powerful prayers over us that brought tears to my eyes. It is so encouraging to be loved so much by this family and to have formed awesome relationships with them. We are back at the Calvert's for the night. Nancy is in Kenya, which I am very sad we don't get to see her before we leave, but we have had a wonderful time with Bob. Thank you Jesus that Nancy made us a pasta dish to eat before she left, for I desperately needed a taste of American food. We had leftover chocolate chip cookie packets, so we told Bob we were going to make some, and he said we were welcome anytime as long as we bring those. He was overjoyed. We sat and talked to him for like two hours and learned all about Krav Maga, which now we are both very interested in (He ended up giving a lessons...woooooo...watch out world ;)...). He told us all about the unreached people groups of Uganda and missionary work. Some real interesting stuff. I seriously love love love The Calverts!
       I am a little anxious and worried about leaving tomorrow because I haven’t been feeling well for the past couple of days. My stomach has been bothering me, and I have had a constant headache and barely eaten anything. I think I am dehydrated, so when we got to Bob and Nancy’s, Bob made me drink two glasses of water before I did anything else. Please pray for us as we travel and that I would feel a lot better tomorrow.  I can’t wait to come home to that colder weather and good ole’ Tennessee! First thing on my list to do is grab a sweet tea!

“How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you? Would you tell me, how could it be any better than this?”

Alima at Kerith is such a beautiful girl inside and out.

This little dude is Karim. He is quite the dancer.

We bought the kids a coke from the local store as a treat. They loved it.

Happenings in the Last Week

          It’s hard to believe that we have only been here a week. It seems like we have settled and have been here a while. Coming apart from a team has been really good for us. It has given us an idea of how it would feel to live here for some time. I have loved that instead of feeling like a tourist, I feel as though I am wrapped up in the lives of those around me and entering their world. Everyday, we wake up at 8, and Betty makes us breakfast, we eat, we hop on our boda, drive through the village to Sangaalo, work with the babies until 6, come back to Canaan, go out into the village and be with the children, eat dinner, go to sleep, and then it all starts over. It has become a routine that I enjoy and am used to. Now, as we drive down the dirt road to Sangaalo, the kids are becoming familiar with us. We are no longer stranger muzungus but friends who wave to them everyday. It is so fun to wave to all the kids and see them get really excited.

Some of the babies at Sangaalo.

          The longer we have been here, the more that the people we work with have become family. Papa Isaac and Mama Rebekah have taken us in and treated us as their very own. Every night, papa comes to say hi to us at dinner, and we end up talking to him for some time. He is such a sweet man, and he makes me feel at home. I ran into him as I was walking through Canaan last night and had the pleasure to talk to him one on one. He knows that I am in nursing school, and he tells me that after I graduate, Canaan is always open to me, and that he would love for me to come work in the clinic. That was exciting to hear. When I look back on the last two years, so much has happened. Two years ago, I had no idea that I would be going to Uganda in the summer of 2012. And, now I am here with Lauren forming relationships that I would have never thought possible. It’s really neat to see all that God has done in my life. It makes me really excited about my future. I love that God gives me visions for where I see myself going in life, and then he makes them possible. Papa also told me that he is praying I find a husband that loves God, loves Africa, and is very handsome. I laughed and said that would be nice. He told me the importance of marrying a man that my ministry does not have to stop, but that it is a beautiful thing when a man and woman do ministry together. I love that he cares enough about me to take time to talk to me and tell me these things. He has become like a grandfather and a great friend. Tonight, at dinner he told us more about his testimony. In the 70s, when Uganda had a Muslim ruler, Pastor Isaac was a Christian pastor, and he was taken captive and taken from his home. He was taken to a camp with other pastors and was tortured and starved. After some time of this, they were all blindfolded and brought out in a line.  They were shot one by one. Papa was on the end and said he was so weak that he was falling over when they shot him. Instead of hitting his heart, it hit his arm. He lay there for days thinking he was about to die because of all the pain and blood he had lost. Thinking they were all dead, the soldiers loaded them all up in a truck, took them out and dumped them in a ditch. While he was waiting to die, he heard a voice say, “Isaac, I am saving your life, so that you may save the lives of my fatherless children.”  And, now he runs Canaan Children’s home that is home to 120 orphaned and abandoned children.

          Damalie has also become like family. Her heart for sick and abandoned babies is such a delight to witness. She treats us with such kindness and is one of the sweetest women I have ever met. She works us hard everyday and is not afraid to ask us to do things. I like this, because she treats us like one of her staff. We have gotten used to the babies and gotten the routine down. We have our ones that cling to us more than others, and it is so sweet now that when we walk in the door, they come crawling to us and want us to hold them. I catch myself daydreaming sometimes thinking….in just a couple more years, I could adopt one of them. One of the babies that I have gotten close to is named Faith. She has begun to talk a lot, and she keeps calling me mama. Oh, how this is hard on my heart. (Although, she calls all the other workers mama, I like to think that I am special, for she runs to me often and puts her arms around me). It is hard to get attached to an orphan and then have to leave them when all you want is to give them love. I am dreading the day we leave, for I know there will be lots of tears and hard times, but I had faith last time that I would return, and I have learned never to underestimate God (or at least I know this, but way too often, fail to live my life by it). He has given me a heart for these children, and I know it doesn’t end here. Damalie and her husband David are such an incredible couple. They shared their story with me the other day, and it was another one of countless stories of faithfulness.  Damalie has known her whole life that she would one day care for babies who are abandoned. When she was on her own, at a young age, she adopted two little girls. When she was working for another baby home, David was working for another ministry who would help the baby home and bring them supplies. With a smile on his face, he said he knew he liked her when he first met her, so he would always volunteer to take the stuff. Damalie said she was hard on him and made him wait three years before she agreed to marry him. She knew she wanted to have a home full of orphaned babies and already had two of her own and thought that he would never want that. But, he was persistent. He says he knew she said she wanted babies to stay with them, but we laughed and said he got more than he bargained for. They live in a home with 5 children of their own including the two girls Damalie adopted and 16 other babies. It is so cool seeing that he loved her so much that her dreams became his and watching them both care for the babies is so sweet. He has a big heart for youth, so during the day, he goes out to do ministry with them. They are very welcoming to us and keep telling me that I have to come back.

This is Faith standing up to give a hug. 

          

          Yesterday, Damalie took us shopping with her to the market. That was an experience, let me tell you. It was crazy. But, once again, I loved feeling like I was in the middle of their culture. We helped her carry all the veggies and fruits and other stuff for a couple of hours, and I told her I had no idea how she would have done this alone. She laughed and said in Africa, they are used to carrying a lot (Something I am still getting used to).  When we returned to Sangaalo, Lauren and I had put together little gifts for Damalie’s staff…just some basic stuff for their families like clothes, toothbrushes and toothpaste, toys, soap, and a bible for each of the workers. As we handed them out, some of them were so excited that I almost started crying. Something so little to us means the world to them. It makes you really think how much we take for granted what we have that even the small things to us are so big to them. I am thankful God used us to bless them. Also, thanks to Mrs. Keltner’s class at SBEC and Mrs. Sid, we were able to bring them a whole suitcase of needs. Damalie was overjoyed at all the stuff and was very grateful.

Damalie and her girls with their gifts.

        

         The doctor came to check the babies a couple of days ago. Damalie asked me to help her with holding them while he checked them. I loved this, because I told him I wanted to a pediatric nurse, and everything he did, he showed me why he was doing it and how to do it. This was so neat and makes me more excited about it.  One little baby that I have become attached to is named Noah. He is the second oldest there, but is so little that it is hard to tell that. He is almost two and can barely move on his own. He is HIV+ and has TB. He has little tiny legs that are very disproportional to his body. He has the same expression all the time, but today, I finally got him to laugh, which was adorable I might add. I have been helping him roll over and stand some. I am going to try to work with him everyday, so that he can gain some strength. He never cries unless one of the other babies rolls on him and he is so so so so sweet.  My other two are Sara and Semilie. They are twins and are absolutely precious. Semilie is the serious one and Sara never stops smiling, but they both crawl to me anytime I sit down, and today they did not want me to put them in their cribs for nap. Semilie cried and cried until finally I just had to walk away. They both are precious and have stolen my heart.

This is little Noah.

These are the twins, Sara and Semilie.

        On Sunday, we were going to go to church with Damalie, but because of it raining, our boda was delayed. As we were waiting in our room, I looked out the window and saw some of the village kids who had come into Canaan for children’s church. I went out there and joined their circle of singing. A man who works for Canaan was leading them and after they were finished, he looked at me and said, “You are most welcome. You give word to us.” In other words, you preach to us. So, there on the spot, I had to give a message. It was all kids, so that was easy. It’s funny now to look back and think about it though. After I talked, Lauren did too. We laugh about it now and say we have preached. We taught them duck duck goose after, which they all loved, and one little girl said, “duck, duck, duck, juice!!!”

          I am learning new things everyday here. Slowly, I am trying to catch on to some of the Lugandan language. I want to study it when I go home to see if I can improve. We know a few basic words, but we want to learn it a lot better. Most people know the basics of English, which is nice. All the children call me Auntie Carol with their cute little accents, although they laugh at my southern one when I say, “Hiiii (drawn out) yallll). They think it is hilarious. All is well for us health wise which is an answer to prayer. It is awful to feel sick while in the country. We experiment with the food but make sure to be careful. We have found this café downtown that has food close to American food that is our run to place when we need a break. We are having issues with cockroaches in our bathroom, which we will continue to have to get used to. Lauren tonight said, “I just want to go home to use the toilet and then come back.” Speaking of toilets…last story I promise…when we were on our way to Jinja from Entebbe, our driver did not speak very good English. The drive is about three hours so at one point, we had to use the restroom. For ten minutes, we tried to explain to him that we had to go, but he just wasn’t getting it. Finally, Lauren said, “Toilet!! We need toilet!!” He finally understood, and it was hilarious.

Praising God for his presence with us at all times. We are continuing to remember that with Him, all things are possible. We are praying for miracles and excited to keep watching him surprise us. Every day is an adventure, but it only makes the journey more exciting, which we are never opposed to.  Sorry this was a long one. I just found the strength and time to blog, so I had a lot to share. Love to you all!

Our boda driver, Selu. 

Lauren and her baby, Jordan.