Provision

God is good. I could say this over and over again, and it never be enough. As I look back on my life, everything fits so perfectly together. One thing leads to another. How can I question whether God is in control when my life thus far has been such a beautiful story? A love story of me discovering Him and slowly giving my life to him completely. It's so funny to me that along the way I scream and rebel because I don't want to follow His will. I am blessed that my parents have been faithful to God all my life. Where He has called my dad as a minister, he has gone. No one likes to move. And, for my case, I especially haven't liked the five times we have moved in my lifetime. But, God knows better than I do. Each place we have lived, we have experienced something that we otherwise would not have. As I got older, I began to realize this. The hardest move on me was when we moved from Martin, TN to Memphis. I was going into seventh grade and had finally felt really comfortable in Martin. I had my friends, my church, cheerleading. I was set to go. But, then my dad picked us up and moved us. I can remember telling my parents that I would not go with them. I was such a mess. But, boy am I glad we moved. I went to an amazing school that I truly love. I learned so much during the years I went there. I made some wonderful friends there. High school is a time for figuring out who you are and who you want to be. And I am so glad God had me where I was when I discovered ME. And then God moved me to Johnson City. And, I am so happy. How can I question God's power when it has been so evident to me?

Once again, I am overwhelmed by God. He started preparing my heart for missions in Africa when I was in 8th grade. And, now in exactly a month, I will be in Uganda for ten days working with orphans. I am so grateful to say I am fully funded. When I signed up for this mission trip, I was really nervous because I knew I couldn't afford it, and I was scared I wouldn't be able to raise all that money. Once again, I questioned God. I've been learning a lot about faith for this past year, and I've realized that I lack it so much. I like to have control and if I see a situation where I will not, I freak out. Typical, huh? But, He once again proved me wrong. So many things have happened to show me that God has me on this team for this trip at such a time as this. I don't know what He is going to do while I'm there, but I know that it will be something incredible. It has been amazing getting to know my team. There is something awesome about interacting with people who have the same passion as I do. God has perfectly put our team together.

Thank you to everyone who are praying for me and are making it possible for me to pursue my dreams of mission work. I know this is only the beginning of a great journey of following the voice of God wherever He takes me. To be continued.....

Isaiah 6:8 Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?" and I said "Here am I! Send me!"

It is well

I decided to change the title of my blog. I was trying to figure out what would sum me up and be short and sweet. Anyone who really knows me would know that I love hymns. Not necessarily the sound of them but the words. I have always loved the phrase...it is well. As I was brainstorming, this came to mind. Through my life, things are always up and down. People disappoint. Circumstances change. And life is most certainly not easy. But through it all, and despite all the mess, I have this hope from the Lord that makes me eager and excited for the future.

It is well with my soul. Every day is well. Every face is well. Every burden is well. This life is well.

Letters to Mayi

Meet Mayi (Esther)!! The beautiful 4 year old!

So, about two weeks ago, God laid it on my heart to sponser one of the children from Canaan's Children's Home in Jinja, Uganda. I was really excited about this, because one, I have always wanted to give some of my money away to help a child in need, and two, what better way to do it then to sponser a child that I will actually get to meet this summer and hang out with. After much prayer, I went to the website and chose to sponser Mayi, a four year old little girl. Mayi's father died when she was little from a serious sickness. When he passed away, Mayi's mother was left with four small children to tend to. She was helpless and under very poor conditions. Because of this, Mayi lived a very unhappy life and was sought after by Canaan. To my surprise, a girl named Lauren who goes to UT went to Africa over Christmas break on a mission trip. She vistied Canaan and met Mayi. She has been able to tell me a little bit about her. The people at Canaan call Mayi, Esther. Such a great name. Lauren and I are hoping to get together sometime before the semester ends to talk about Canaan and all the great things there are to look forward to. God, bless Mayi and the sweet times we will share together. Continue to bless Canaan's ministry and all the wonderful children there! And thank you for allowing me the priviledge to go, learn from them, serve them, and show your love to them. If you would like to learn more information about Canaan's Children's Home, you can visit their website at http://www.canaanchildrenshome.org/ . Thank you all for the continuous prayers! 

My first letter to Mayi!

Rid Me of Myself

Complacency: feeling of quiet pleasure or security.

I am complacent. And, I hate it. I long for more. I believe I was created for more than I am living. I believe that God looked ahead and created me. Placed me here on this earth April 7, 1993 to be His. I believe I was destined for greatness. For a higher greatness than I could ever imagine myself. But, how do I get there? I don't want to simply live. I want to live umcomfortably and insecure depending solely on my Savior. Sometimes I think....how much more my heart would be filled if ALL I had was Jesus. If everyday I woke up and looked around me and saw emptiness. But then looked up and saw the sun shining bright and felt the love of my Father. I have been reading Kisses from Katie which is about a girl who gave up everything to move to Uganda. She talks a lot in her book about how people there have nothing but still worship God faithfully everyday. They're happy and filled with joy. As I write this I long for emptiness. Sometimes I feel like the "things" I have in my life too often separate me from Jesus. Why is this the case? I think it is because I forget where my blessings come from. I forget to acknowledge that everything I am and have is from Him who graciously placed me where I am. I have multiple idols in my life. I have my phone, my friends, my clothes. And, I so often think I NEED them. I cannot live my life WITHOUT them. But, right now, in this moment, I am begging God to let me see through the eyes of one with nothing. One who is like a sparrow and has to depend on God to bring it food. I look at our country, and I see it pushing God out. That scares me tremendously. I believe a lot of it has to do with the fact that we live in wealth here. We are not dying of hunger or living without water. We have doctors and cures for disease. Do we really need God? I look at this and want to run. I want to run to where all there is is God. I am so easily distracted by materialism. It's a struggle everyday that I can no longer deny. Everyday I have a battle between my possessions and God. So, now humbly I come and ask God to show me what it is like to love Him whole heartedly not because of what He has given me, but because I have nothing.

I am excited to see and experience this this summer in Uganda. I will travel to a place I have never been without my cell phone. Without my parents. Without my life here. I will make decisions on my own, and I will see things I have never seen before. I will look at children who are without shoes, whose parents have run or died, who can't afford school, and they will be smiling. We will laugh together, and I will hug them close. We will dance and sing. And I will love them. I seriously cannot wait. I cannot wait to be separated from the distractions of the life I have here in my comfortable bed in my secure home. I want to be adventurous and daring. I want to walk somewhere where I have no idea where it will lead me. I want to try new things. I want to follow behind the feet of those who have nothing. And I want to serve them. I want to for ten days give everything inside me to love on those I encounter. I want to do away with complacency. Lord, shake my life. Open my eyes to what it is like to only truly have you. Allow me to share my heart with everyone around me. And most of all help me to remember that with you ALL things are possible.

When I think about my time in Uganda, I feel two emotions. One, scared out of my mind. And two, excited beyond belief. Both of these are because of the same reason. I am scared because I am afraid I am going to go there and never want to return to my home. I fear that I will want to call Uganda home, and that the call that has been poking at me for years will become my reality. That I will no longer have an excuse. BUT, I am also very excited about this. I know how extremely awesome my God is, and I cannot wait to see where he places me in life. I choose to go where He leads because He has shown me that He is good. He makes things that are broken beautiful.

I am a beautiful mess. I am His. He called me, and I answered. But, everyday I struggle to pick up my cross and follow Him. And everyday, I fail. I pick up my cell phone instead. Or, I depend on a friend for security. I lose sight of Him. I am amazed that even though I walk away, He still continues to call my name and hold out His hand to me. He picks me up as I continue to fall, and He reminds me that He loves me. I was reading in John 1 the other day where it says, "He was in the world, and though the world was made through him, the world did not recognize Him. He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him." (John 1:10-11) I struggle with why He wanted to save that which rejected Him. I've thought about this so much and part of me can't even wrap my head around it. But, I am no longer blind, and God helps me to understand. It is because WE ARE HIS. If I lost something that I loved, I would do everything in my power to get it back. I would seek it out until I couldn't anymore. That is what God does with me every day. This blows my mind. My heart is so thankful.

Do you live a complacent life? Do you depend on things you can see and touch everyday? I do too often. I am an on going mess who just can't seem to get myself together. But, the great thing is I can't fix me, and I never will be able to. Rid me of myself, dear Lord.

"I was forever ruined for comfort, convenience, and luxury, preferring instead challenge, sacrifice, and risking everything to do something I believed in." -Katie Davis

Joys of 2011

Well another year has come and gone. A lot happened this year. A LOT. 2011 was full of endings, beginnings, trying new things, traveling, meeting new people, and more happiness than I could have ever imagined. So many blessings came from 2011. I am going to talk about some of my highs and favorite times from this year. Now, if you don't know me well, then you should know that I love pictures, so hang in there, it will end, I promise.

New Years 2011...where it all began. It was fun hanging out with all my friends at Anna Laura's house.

Windy Gap! This was my first time to go there, and I loved it. I hadn't really been involved with young life much until this year, but I am so glad I got to go.

I loved basketball season, because since I cheered for football games in the fall, I was never able to be in the student section, and for basketball games I could.

The Valentine's Banquet is probably my favorite dance from high school. I love it because it is not just a dance, but a dinner, playing games, and dancing.


Newspaper. This year being design editor was extrememly tough. We spent lots of hours (hours up until past midnight sometimes) working on these issues. We successfully put out 9 issues. Although, often I was extremely tired of all the hard work it takes designing an issue, I loved every second of it. Being creative and designing is one of my favorite things. I got to design almost every page and putting my skill to use was a lot of fun. This year we completely changed the format of our paper, which was great, since we got to add our own style to it, and as I always say change is good. I loved working with all my fellow newspaper editors featured in the picture above. We had a lot of laughs, good times, stressful moments, and late nights, but it was all worth it.

O our faithful lunch table. Some days it was crazy, stressful, exciting, hilarious, and quite often informative (because girls talk about everything...and by everything I mean EVERYTHING). I really miss this.

Superbowl time! This was really fun hanging out at Davis' house, but I can't even remember now who one, was playing and two, who won, but I did have a fun night. And that's all that matters right?

Snow day. There's nothing like waking up and getting a call from ECS saying no school today. Pretty much one of the best feelings ever. Although, this particular day, we had been at school for about half a day when they called school out early because the weather was going to get bad. Kelsey and I had been at the school working on the newspaper for about an hour when my mom called and said we needed to start heading home because it was getting worse. We headed to Bartlett and right when we got there, we found out that a group of our friends were going to Jason's house to hang out. If you dont know, Bartlett (where I live) is pretty much in another country.... not really but I live atleast 25 minutes from mostly everybody I went to school with. (Thats one thing I love about Johnson City...everything's close). It took a lot of convincing my parents until they finally agreed to let us drive in the snow. I mean Kelsey had 4 wheel drive. We'll drive really slow. We'll take main roads. You name it, we tried it. What should have taken 30 minutes, took about an hour and a half. crazy. But, just another adventure to add to our list, so we didn't mind. We spent the night sledding and playing Just Dance. Pretty awesome.

The guys basketball team were/are state champs. Nuff said.

I turned 18! woo hoo! And thank you Meredith Miller Wright for making me my favorite red velvet cake. you da best.

I went to New Orleans to visit Courtney for spring break. What was so awesome was that I surprised her. I had told her that it wasn't going to work out for me to come. Her mom called me one day and said I have fly miles and want to fly you here. Such a blessing. Courtney rode with her family to the airport, because she thought they were picking up her aunt. I came and knocked on her car window. Definitely on my top 20 best moments list. It was great. She was so surprised and screamed for about 5 minutes. It was so good getting to hang out and catch up with one of my dearest friends.

So, senior year spur the moment I decided to play softball. Yes, softball. Yes, me, Caroline Flippin, a cheerleader and sadly usually unathletic. I would not change this decision for anything. I had a blast. Yes, I will admit, starting to play a sport your senior year is very difficult and hard, but I just went with it, worked hard, and gave it my best. It turned out that I wasn't too too bad. Who knew huh? Some of my shining moments include: making an awesome catch but forgetting to throw the ball back in to the infield. oops. But, still great catch= I was improving. It is one of those things I wish I had begun sooner because I could have worked really hard to be a good player, but all in all it was still a great experience. I really learned a lot about remembering that in everything I do, I am playing for an audience of One. This was our theme for the season. I learned that no matter where I was in the line up, my role was always important. Whether that be playing or encouraging my teammates. Thank you Kelsey for talking me into this one. I don't regret it at all. :)

I can't forget how much a joy it was to get know some of the younger girls. You guys were great. And I had so much fun goofing off with yall. Woorrrdddd.

Prom 2011. This year the theme was masquerade. This was really neat. Not to mention, I went with Ben, one of my closest friends since middle school. Thanks for being a champ, Ben. You're awesome.

The infamous graduation parties.

The field day that is promised in every speech for people running for student council every year finally happened. Bethany and I partnered up for water balloon toss. We failed at winning, but did pretty well if I do say so myself. Pictured with us is our favorite algebra teacher Coach Bakedy Bake aka Coach Baker. Seriously the sweetest man ever. We call ourselves his adopted granddaughters. Seriously so many fun times in that class. And Coach Baker, thanks for answering all our questions. You and I did great on our tests ;) but really. Seniors dominated field day, ofcourse.

Bethany, Hannah, and I had a dessert bar for our party. It was sweet. (No pun intended...okay maybe it was).

Last day of high school. Whew. What a great day. All the girls met at Ihop for breakfast and then we all walked, roller bladed, rode scooters, etc. to school. Pretty awesome. I enjoyed this tradition.

Senior riverboat cruise. I was happy that we still got to do this considering the Mississippi river was so high and flooded mud island.

Graduating from high school. success.

Senior Cruise to Mexico. The second picture is this game we made up that we like to call the expression game. Someone says 1,2,3.....excited (Atleast that what this picture was). Then we precede to make the expression. Pretty fun. Pretty stupid. Pretty great. It was awesome getting to hang out with my senior class before we all headed our separate ways. So blessed to be a part of the class of 2011.

Kelsey came to Memphis to visit. I love when people come, because it gives me a good enough reason to spend the day downtown. (Which I should do more often anyway).

Speropulos family cruise. This was crazy fun! My family is ridiculous, but pretty much the best family around. We're that typical big fat greek family. We even won ourselves a family trophy by winning a game on deck...which made the cruise news I might add. We visited Nassau in the Bahamas, St Thomas, and St Maarten. I find the picture of the whole family hilarious because on my first cruise with my senior class, I rememeber laughing at those families with the matching t shirts. HA What goes around comes around, but we wore them well, so no worries. It was such a joy to get to hang out with my family for a week. I couldn't ask for a better one, and I am extremely thankful for all fun we share.

Disney World!! Who doesn't love visiting the place where all your dreams come true?? Atleast for the day anyway.

Chelsea, Sarah, Meredith, and I took our first solo trip to the Destin. I am so blessed with such great friends and this trip was incredible. At times, it was weird not having a parent around to ask to do things...but I aint gonna lie. Independence is great. Although, we quite often laughed at ourselves because we are young but yet would come back to the room at 9 and play cards (like grannies). O well we had a blast. I love you girls so much!

Every year around the time when the sunflowers bloom at Shelby Farms, I always tell myself I want to go take a picture with the sunflowers. Kelsey and I finally did it. Next time, Ill be sure to bring bee spray considering they liked me a lot. (Is there even such a thing as bee spray??)

Moving to ETSU. Well I did it. I moved 8 hours away from home, stability, friends, and all the great things that come with Memphis. Although, since my family has moved 5 times, I've become a champ at the whole moving thing. (Which is probably why I DESPISE packing). Adjusting was a lot harder for me than I expected because I usually am not a home person. But, Etsu has been great. I am so proud of where I am at here and all the wonderful people I have encountered. Ill let you in on a secret. My heart is here in Johnson City. Always has been. I was born here, my family is here, and I love this place. It has been the consistent place in my life and will always be "home". Pictured is my great roommate, the Anna Fickley. Thanks for putting up with my messiness, loud music, and craziness.

O, Ben Rector, will you marry me? poop, he's already taken. O well. I'm still in love with your music.

Why, yes I went to the Taylor Swift Concert. Why, yes after this picture was taken we shook hands and had a 2 second conversation. Why, yes it was incredible.

My first UT game. Thanks Leah, Hannah, and Catha for such a great weekend. Go Vols!

Like I kind of touched on earlier, I have made some great friends at Etsu.

Quest. If you don't know, Quest is what you go through before you become a young life leader. Quest made my semester amazing. And, all you awesome people in it contributed a lot to that. Doing work crew at windy gap was challenging and tiring, but one of the best weekends I have had in a long time. It's great to able to serve kids, so that there weekend at Windy Gap is great.

I was indeed a whoopie cushion for Halloween. no shame.

A lot of changes came with 2011. I cut my hair and got my nose pierced. The parents weren't too thrilled with that second change, but hey you're only young once. I miss my long hair everyday, but I love donating my hair to locks of love. Hair grows so what the heck, might as well use it for good.

I made it through Anatomy and Physiology I. And learned almost every bone and muscle in the body. Im just going to go ahead and give myself a pat on the back for this one.

I could not ask for a better small group. Being able to walk with eachother through life and learn more about Jesus this semester has been one of the highlights of my semester. You girls are great, and I have loved seeing God work in each of you over the past months. Thank you for always being there for me through tears and laughs :)

God opened the door for me to go to Uganda in the summer of 2012. I have been patiently waiting on God's timing for this one, and it's finally here. I am more excited about this than I could ever express in words. I can't wait to see all the plans God has in store for this trip. I have already gotten to know a little bit of the poeple on my team, and I know God perfectly put this team together. This is such a cool process to watch unfold. I know now more than ever this is what I am supposed to be doing. Let's just hope I have it in me to return back to America, for I know I am going to fall in love with the beautiful people of Uganda.

Coming home for Christmas was so refreshing. It was so nice to get to be reunited with my family and friends back home. I love college, but I do sometimes miss the feeling of home and not to mention being able to eat my mom's incredible homecooked meals, chilling on the famous green couch, and do nothing but read and watch movies.

Finally went to The Wizarding World of Harry Potter. I felt like I was stepping into a Harry Potter movie. It was insane. I also tried some butterbeer. Which was unbelievable great and sweet. (Kind of tasted like cream soda...yum). Seeing my dad's family in Florida was so nice. We do not see them much, and being able to celebrate Christmas there was a lot of fun. And the 80 degree weather was nice as well.

I could seriously go on with all the wonderful things that I experienced during 2011, but I will refrain. Until next year. :)