All day long, I have been saying I can't wait to be in my home and then I pull in my driveway and my heart sinks. I'll admit, different times while I was gone, I missed my culture. I missed my hot shower, good food, and comfort living situation, but now that I have it, my heart is aching. I did not think I would be effected this bad. My dad got me chick fil a by request but when it was put in front of me, I ate two bites and was full. While my sister prayed over our food, without even realizing it, I lost it. I started bawling uncontrollably. I love my home, but I can't help but to feel a part of me missing. All I want to do is walk outside and wrap my kids in my arms, but I can't. And this kills me. I miss the people. I miss the joy. I miss the love. I miss Uganda. I miss the way my hand was always held and the way a hug was received every minute. I miss how much a little smile from my face made a child's day. I miss the excitement from people as muZungos drive by. I miss the way I was dirty and didn't even care. I miss singing songs with my new family. I miss seeing the real faith all around me. I miss the physical dependency of God. I miss my life in Uganda and I miss the void that it filled in my heart. I'm in need of prayers as I wrestle with God as to why I'm sitting on my comfortable bed so far from the place I fell in love with. Pray for my strength as I patiently wait on God to lead me wherever He wants me. Pray for the culture shock and that I would never forgot I serve a God who is all powerful and has every person I fell in love with wrapped up in His arms. Pray that I would never forget all that He has taught me about His love and pray that I would never cease thanking Him for allowing me to do His will and serve Him in a country that has forever changed me and that I have truly fallen in love with. I need strength. I need peace. I need comfort. I can't. He can.
No comments:
Post a Comment