Home

Giddy.....there I was walking out of the Entebbe airport, running on 3 hours of sleep, over 24 hours of travel, and I was giddy. I took in the fresh Uganda air, and I smiled. I was right where I was supposed to be, and I knew it without a doubt in my mind.

Backup to 24 hours earlier...well to be exact, 3 months ago. The goodbyes were starting. I knew in my heart that I was moving on to a new chapter in my story, and it was time to leave what I knew and what was familiar. Yet, still it hurt. Since then, I have had to say goodbye over and over again. I tend to be an I'm going to bottle it up and act like I am not phased by it type of person, but this summer...this summer was different. I was phased. I was hurting. And, I was heartbroken leaving people and places I love so much. Making a decision to move across the world seemed pretty easy for me at the time. After all, it was my dream. I never took into consideration the mess of tears that would come of it. This summer came with lots of processing and trusting that I had never experienced before...would I raise all my support, would I pass my NCLEX in one try, would I be able to get all my stuff ready to move during the short period of time I had given myself, would I be able to say goodbye to everyone I care about...and it goes on. God taught me a lot during this time. Often times when we are stepping into places He has called us...places that will change the lives of others and ourselves as well...He is at work big time...but just as much as He is at work, the enemy is at work as well. I definitely felt that this summer. Lies after lies flooded in. Who am I to move to Uganda and be a nurse? Who am I to be given such an incredible opportunity? Who would ever want me to work for their ministry? This was a constant battle going on in my head that I had to continually counteract with Truth. I am loved. I am called. I am adequate. I am His. And, the biggie....He will equip me. FULLY.

Sitting in the airport at 6 am waiting to board my first plane to Uganda, I realized what a gift my emotions were. Yes, goodbyes are hard. Trusting is hard. But, how incredible that leaving a place brings tears flowing down my cheeks. I wrote in my journal..."Goodbyes are hard when you leave behind people and places that have stolen your heart. I'm thankful for my hard goodbyes." So you sitting there reading this....you that I hugged 20 times and said goodbye to over and over. You who have cried with me and prayed with me. You who supported me. You who reminded me that I was made for this. You are a gift. You have made my life great, which makes it hard to walk away from you. You, dear friends and family, are my greatest blessing. And, I am overwhelmed with thankfulness.

So, here I am sitting in my room...my room...in Uganda trying to gather my thoughts and soak all this in. How do you comprehend a calling you first felt when you 13 years old that is coming true? For me, I listen to Good Good Father (many of you could have guessed this) over and over again and praise my Father. The one who created me and wrote my story. The one who said, "This is Caroline Flippin. She will be many things. She will love life and laughter. She will love people. She will be bold to go where I lead her. She will be a nurse in Uganda. Her life will never be the same, because of the grace I will pour out over her." And that, that story brings me to my knees and humbles me and reminds me how blessed I am. What an honor that the maker of the world chose me for this simply because He loves me.

Two days ago if someone would have asked where home is for me, I would have said Tennessee. Where my roots are. Where my love runs deep. But, He's been teaching me a lot about the word home. Home isn't a building or a place. Home is simply where He has you right now in this moment. This is my place. This is my family. This is my kingdom.

Welcome to my home.

I spent my last week in the states with my mom's family. Our last night, they all prayed over me, and I am so thankful for the support and love they daily give me. It's such a gift being a Speropulos.

Our last dinner as a family for a while...I chose mexican of course.

Face timing my parents saying goodbye before take off and my dad pops in like this. 

And, we're off!

Meet our dog, Beau

My Journey to Sixty Feet

From Tennessee to Uganda - Caroline Flippin from Justin Burgan on Vimeo.

This video is a story...a story that isn't about me or what I'm doing but about something much much bigger. It's a story of redemption and a calling that is higher. It's a story of faith and surrender to a God that is able to do more than I could ever imagine. This story is about Him.

When you find a dream that you hope to achieve one day, it becomes this big idea in your head. You think of it often, and you imagine if it's possible. For me, I hoped that one day my dream would become a reality, but if I'm being honest deep down, I thought surely the Lord would never use me as a nurse in Uganda. I mean that would be crazy, right? That would take boldness and trust that I didn't know if I was capable of. But, thank goodness I am not dependent on myself.

About ten months ago. I was sitting on my couch reading the Word, and I came across a verse that I had never noticed before. And, instantly it was bolded in front of me. 

"Do all that you have in mind. Go ahead; I am with you heart and soul." 

1 Samuel 14:7

I remember thinking what would my life look like if this was how I lived? If everyday I said, "Okay Jesus, I am with you heart and soul. Whatever you have for me, I'm with you." I felt an overwhelming feeling telling me to pray this daily. So, that's what I did. Every day. For 5 months. I had no idea why the Lord had asked this of me, and I had no idea what He was preparing for me. But, I prayed and I waited. On August 12th, 2014, I found out about the ministry Sixty Feet. Sixty Feet is a ministry in the capitol of Uganda. It pours into the lives of Ugandan children imprisoned there. They have a medical team on staff that treats these children. When I heard of this, I slowly but surely began the process of pursuing to work with them. After a couple of interviews, they asked me to come and be a nurse on their medical team. In the midst of weeping, I knew this was what I had been praying and preparing myself for. To say yes to moving to Uganda in August to live as a nurse...for a year! And so begins the fulfilling of a dream. A dream that is not my own. But, His. A dream He has entrusted me to help fulfill. A dream that will change my life and many others.

Something like this, I can't go at alone. Something like this takes lots of prayer and support. But, I know and fully believe that God does not call His people to places He does not provide the means to get them there. I know this to be true, because I have experienced it first hand. So, with that said, I need your help. 

I need people to commit to pray for me. To pray that my faith would be strengthened and that the Lord would provide for me every step of the way. To pray that I will be able to meet needs of the children I work with in Uganda....that God will give me knowledge in the areas of medicine I will see and be a part of...that He would use my hands to bring glory to Him...that I would be a part of miracles of healing and restoration...that I would never lose sight of Him and who He is...and that because of this ministry, lives would be changed and people would be brought home to a Father who desperately loves and pursues them. Will you pray? 

I will also need financial support. I have to raise $5000 before I leave for Uganda in August, and while I am there, I will need monthly support of $800. Would you be willing to be apart of my financial support team?

To be a part of this journey or to learn more about Sixty Feet, click the Sixty Feet logo at the top of my blog. I will be updating my blog while I am there if you would like to continue following my story. 

 I am forever grateful. Your gifts and prayers will make an eternal impact.

"Say So"

If you follow my blog, then you may remember that at the end of last semester, I wrote a post about what I expected my summer to look like. My prayer for this past summer was for God to remind me of who He is. I think in the business of life, it's easy to forget this, and I found myself giving into that.

A huge part of my summer this year was Young Life. I took girls to camp at Sharp Top Cove for the first time, and I also had the opportunity to serve on summer staff at Frontier Ranch for three weeks. One of my favorite things about YL camp is at the end of every week, kids get the opportunity to participate in something we like to call "Say So". It's based off the verse from Psalm 107:2 that says, "Let the redeemed of The Lord say so..." They get to stand up and proclaim that they have come home to the Father.This is such a beautiful picture of redemption. I love it. 

With that said, The Lord answered my prayer and reminded me of Him this summer. He did some incredible things in my life and around me that I would love to proclaim. So, here I am to have my own "Say So" of sorts.  

This first story is about my good friend, Jalen. Jalen is a junior at Elizabethton high school. We met last fall at YL club. Like most people, J has gone through some rough stuff this past year. We talked through it often, and I remember conversation after conversation where J found herself in a series of doubt, not knowing if God was real. She had a hard time with believing and trusting in a God when there was so much pain going on in her and around her. Because of this, I was really excited about J going to Sharp Top Cove with me. I knew that she would hear the good news of Gospel in an amazing way.

On June 30th, we were on our way! This was my first time leading at week long camp, so I was really nervous. At the beginning of the week, Jalen told me that she still was in this doubt, but that she was open and excited to listen to the speaker. I told her to not be afraid to ask God to reveal Himself to her, and that I believed He would do that. As the week went on, she was really receptive to the talks, and we had lots of time to talk about them together. On the fifth night of camp, the cross talk is given. After club, everyone goes outside in the darkness, and there is 20 minutes of silence throughout all of camp. This is a time where kids can talk to God, look at the stars, or just think about all they have heard up until this point. It had been raining almost everyday at Sharp Top, so they had told us in leader meeting that they were just going to send them out if it wasn't raining at the time to do it.

So, the time came and the rain had held up, so the 20 minutes began. About 5 minutes in, it started raining...and not just sprinkling, it came a downpour. When they rang the bell, everyone ran back to their cabins. The next day Jalen kept telling me that she wanted to show me something in her journal, but we never got around to it. That night after club they were given another opportunity to go outside and experience the same thing. In our cabin time after, we asked the girls how they spent their 20 minutes outside. Everyone went around, and then it came to Jalen. She said that needed to get her journal and then she said, "I wrote this last night in the 20 minutes. You can't read it well because it was dark, but I wrote...God, if you are real, make it pour." We all just sat there in silence for a few seconds soaking it all in. This was my favorite moment from camp. It brought sweet tears to my eyes, and Jalen came home to the Father that week.

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When Lauren and I returned to Uganda in January, the pastor of one of the orphanages we work with pulled us aside before we left to share with us a big need they have. He told us they really needed a van to transport the kids to and from school and church. He believed that God was leading him to ask us for help. He told us that he would like us to raise $16,000. We listened and said we would try. But, when we left, we both looked at each other like...he's crazy. There's no way two 20 year olds can do that. So, time went on. Occasionally we would talk about it and mention that we should come up with a plan, but we really didn't try to do anything. Looking back, I know it was because of lack of faith. In our minds, that was a big number that just wasn't reachable. It's funny now thinking about it. Up until that point, we never stopped and just asked God for help. We never presented the need to Him in faith that He would meet us. We completely relied on ourselves.

Towards the middle of the summer, I went to the beach with Lauren's family. One morning when we woke up, Lauren and I decided to start praying everyday that God would give us vision to raise this money. We begged him to help us.

A little bit before this, we had set up a donation page. We had shared the word that we were raising money a little bit through social media, but nothing too big. Time went by and in July, we had about $250 on there. We still just kept praying and waiting.

I went off to Frontier Ranch to work for three weeks. When you do summer staff, they ask you to turn your phone in, so you can grow with poeple you're serving with. Every Thursday, we would get our phones back for a few hours. A week goes by. and I got my phone back. I had a text from Lauren that said to go look at the donation page. I was shocked to see that we had about $1000. I knew that that was only a small portion of what we needed, but it was a start. The next time I turned it on, she had texted me saying, "This is a HORRIBLE time for you to not have your phone!" I went to the page and couldn't believe my eyes....$8,000!!! In two weeks! I sat there and tears just started falling. In my mind, God was doing a lot, and we should be happy that we were half way there. We could worry about the rest later.

The third Thursday comes around. I had an overflowing amount of texts from Lauren and friends telling me to go the page. I went and just sat in utter awe. Not only did we have $16000, but we had an excess amount of money. I once again started crying but laughing too. I seriously couldn't believe it. I remember I kept thinking this has to be a dream. There is no way.

Three weeks. That's all it took for God to move in a big way. I was reminded so much of the power of my Father. You know, I think Lauren and I didn't ask sooner, because I think we often just forget to ask for the big things. In our head, we think that it's impossible and too much to ask, but during those three weeks, I was reminded so much of the goodness of God. Nothing is too big for Him. Something I love about this story and that God taught me is that He doesn't need me to do it. I was away from my reality for three weeks. I didn't have constant communication with anyone, but yet all the money came through. He doesn't need me to do His work. This was really humbling for me.

I'm thankful for a God that deosn't need me, but still chooses to use me. I'm thankful for a God that does crazy, unimagineable things. I'm thankful for a God that sees His children's needs and meets them. I'm thankful for all of you that gave your money, so our friends in Pallisa, Uganda can have a means of transportation.

Pastor Sam and the children at Kerith

The new truck

Adopted

About a month ago, we had our final gathering as young life leaders in upper East Tennessee before we all dove into our summer adventures. This was a joyful but rather sad time together. It was the last time we would all be together. I say last time, because we said bye to some really special people who have served whole heartedly in YL in our area for years and have now been called else where. There were lots of tears and tissues, but it was mostly a celebration of laughter and excitement. A time to reflect on how God has chosen us all to further His Kingdom through this incredible ministry. What an honor. As I sat there listening to the words being said about each individual, I couldn't help but to think...If that were me up there, what would people say about me? What will people say about me years from now? Now, I don't want you to think I am saying how can I make myself better, so I can be noticed more. Yes, that is a selfish desire that I think most people feel at some point. But, what I am saying is, is the love of Christ so evident in my life that the outflow of it changes lives through the Grace of God?  Am I being a disciple of Jesus Christ? Am I passionate about my relationship with Him? Am I zealous and bold?  Am I confident because I belong to the Lord most high and he is satisfyer of my soul? And for that matter, do I fill myself up with Him or things of this world? These are questions I've been fighting for months. Am I who God wants me to be? The truth is I'm not. I'm far from it. Truth is I've been in a rut. Like most people, I get in these valleys and try to get it out on my own, but I fail everytime. (emphasis on I). 

That same night we were asked to write ourselves a letter. A letter that we would receive in the mail at the end of summer. We were told to write about our goals for the summer. How we wanted to grow and where we wanted to be by the end of it. We were reminded that the summer is a beautiful time to really grow in your relationship with the Lord. To rest in Him and spend an abundance of time with Him because of breaks from school or other obligations. (unless of course you are in summer school...but thank goodness, I'm not). The same question came up in my mind. Who do I want to be? How do I want to be different come fall 2013? I found myself coming back to the same desire...Lord, remind of you. Remind me of how great your love is. Capture my heart again and again. Give me a desire for you. It's funny how much God can reveal himself to you by simply just asking. 

A couple of days ago, as I was driving to Birmingham, I decided to listen to a sermon to make the time go by fast. I chose one by David Platt on Adoption. (if you have a chance, I highly recommend this sermon. It was his Easter Sunday one from a few years ago). It was a fairly easy choice, because I have a heart for orphans and adoption and jump at the chance to hear what older and wiser people have to say about it. As I was listening to it, I couldn't help but to be extremely moved. The focus of the sermon was how we are adopted into the family of God. How just like adoption on earth, there is a cost, there are requirements, and there are different sacrifices that have to be made to adopt a child. Me being adopted comes with a price. Christ died so that I could be reconciled with my father. He changed my status. He paid a price that would forever allow me to have a heavenly Daddy. Someone to fight for me to have hope, peace, freedom, and protection. He talked about all the parallels between us adopting on earth and God adopting us. 

 People driving beside me probably thought something was terribly wrong with me because I couldnt control the tears. I love the idea of adoption. Not because it's a good thing to do, but because without me being adopted, I would be lost, alone, starving, hopeless, and insignificant. But, listening to this reminded me... I am a child of God. He saw that I was alone and weak, and he ran to my rescue. He chose me. He persues me. He fights for me. He believes in me. He listens to me. He never gives up on me. He forgives me. He accepts me. He blesses me. He redeems me. He loves me. He adopted me.  He thinks I'm worth it.

My life is forever changed because I call God, Abba. My Father. I believe just like God changes us, we can change a life. We can choose to do as Christ has done to us and offer a life of hope and significance. We can ask God to give us the courage to love his children. We can fight for those who have no one to fight for them. We can fulfill Gods command to love the orphans and take care of them. You may have no desire to adopt. You may not feel that call. But, do something. Stop living a life of mediocrity. Be a voice for the voiceless. Consider how Christ changed your life by adopting you and consider the joy and blessings God can give you by being brave and following Him and running to the rescue of his many children all over the world suffering because they do not have someone to love them on a earth. Be the change you wish to see in the world. 

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,

That saved a wretch like me....

I once was lost but now am found,

Was blind, but now, I see.

On this Father's Day, I'm thankful to have a dad that died for me to be a part of his family. Who persues me with his love. Who adopts me as his own. I am no longer an outcast or abandoned to my sin. Amen.




I'm also really thankful that God gave me an earthly father who is pretty incredible. Who has shown me the love of Christ constantly by encouraging me, bringing me up in the faith, forgiving my faults, believing in me, and understanding me no matter what. I am thankful I know the Lord, because my dad committed to show me the way to Him and point me to Truth. What an honor it is to be your daughter, daddy. You amaze me everyday by your strength and servant's heart.




If you have 7 minutes and 54 seconds, I encourage you to watch this video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWHJ6-YhSYQ

In the Potter's Hands

Ever have those days where you question everything? You're stressed and all you want to do is give up. Drop everything and walk away. If you are anything like me, this has happened a time or two...maybe quite possibly more than that. The theme of this semester for me has been Trust. Trust that He will never leave me. Trust that I am right where He wants me. Trust that I will be okay. Trust that He knows me better than I know myself. Trust that inspite of the hard things, He is and will forever be good. These are truths that I forget so easily. I am very much so a type A personality. I like plans, and I like control. And, when I don't have control, I tend to freak out. I've known this about myself for a while, but God has really been pointing it out in my life recently. For the first time in my life, school does not come naturally. I have to study more than I ever have before and still don't do great. In one of my classes, I bombed the first test. There are only three tests, so this really put pressure on me. Because of that one test, I could have failed the class. Looking back, I remember the long, tiring nights thinking why am I doing this? Is this worth it? But, then something happened. I started learning that I literally would not pass on my own. There would be no way I could make it through this semester without the Lord's help. I had my final test on Monday in the class I was borderline in. I remember Sunday night, I felt awful about it..not prepared..stressed..at the point I was referring to earlier...ya know, the drop everything and not just walk but run? Sometimes, I think God looks down on me and probably laughs. Not in a making fun of way, but in a "Caroline, I have you. You are mine. Just breathe." I decided there was nothing else I could do to prepare. If I failed, I failed. If I passed, I passed. Laying there, I couldn't sleep, so I grabbed my Jesus Calling book curious to how Jesus could speak to me in that moment. This is what I read.."I am the Potter; you are My clay. I designed you before the foundation of the world. I arrange the events of each day to form you into this preconceived pattern. My everlasting Love is at work in every event of your life. On some days your will and Mine flow smoothly together. You tend to feel in control of your life when our wills are in harmony. On other days you feel as if you are swimming upstream, against the current of My purposes. When that happens, stop and seek My face. The opposition you feel may be from Me, or it may be from the evil one. Talk with Me about what you are experiencing. Let my Spirit guide you through treacherous waters. As you move through the turbulent stream with Me, let circumstances mold you into the one I desire you to be. Say yes to your potter as you go through this day." I couldn't have asked for a better reminder. He is the Potter. I am the clay. I don't know what the future has for me, but I do know who holds my future. And, I know that right now, in this moment, I am exactly where I am supposed to be. And, if God wants me to be a nurse, then I trust that He will get me through. This reminded me of the first chapter of Love Does by Bob Goff. I sat down and started reading this book the other day. The first chapter really got my attention. One, this guy Randy who was Bob's young life leader is totally awesome....to drop everything and drive across the country with Bob...I mean seriously, that's incredible. But, anyway...what I loved about this chapter is the reoccuring..."I'm with you." Randy just keeps saying to Bob, "I'm with you." Wherever Bob went, Randy followed...never judging, never trying to convince him that he is stupid for being there, not trying to fix him, but just simply being present and supporting Bob. This is Jesus to me. He is by my side and constantly saying, "I am with you. I've got you. I am your Potter. You are my clay, and I make no mistakes." This is hope people, and I am thankful. Love does.

"Yet, O Lord, you are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand."

-Isaiah 64:8

Oh, and remember that test I was really worried about? I passed and did really well. Thanks, God.

Let thy will be done

I write this with a heavy heart. A heart of confusion and in need. Life is so crazy right now. Since returning home from Uganda in January, I immediately started thinking about when I would head back...no surprise there, right? As I got back into the swing of things, I began realizing that the truth might just be that God does not have it in his plan for me to go back this summer. I started nursing school and quickly realized the commitment in it. Time. Energy. Lack of social life. And, as I began adjusting to this new way of life, I told myself that I really didn't think I would go back this summer, simply for the reason of there is no way I will have the time to raise and save the money to go. I had decided I had made my decision. But, I didn't realize the post emotional effect it would have on me. My heart began to hurt and long to be back. I found myself looking at pictures over and over again. I questioned whether I was doing the right thing.I have been wrestling with this for a while. And, in the past week, it has really taken hold of me. Reminders of Uganda were everywhere...in things people would say, in songs I heard, in a book I am reading, etc. I don't know why, but I just kept thinking...maybe I am wrong. Maybe, I made the decision without truly asking God to show me His will. So, thats where I'm at.... in limbo of some sorts. confused. You know, I say I need to see God open doors for clarification, but the truth is doors are open. Wide open, actually. So, why am I afraid to walk through? Money, perhaps. I need a job this summer, perhaps. I just can't do it, perhaps. But, when I think about the root in those excuses, it really comes down to....it's all about me. I think when we find ourselves in situations that are all about us...we miss out on the BIG, EXCITING things God does because it's all about Him. So, the question remains....what will I do? Wait, scratch that. What will God do? Please pray for me as I beg God to show me His way. Not mine.

Reflection

Well, I have been home for 5 days now. It is crazy how fast it all has gone by. I have found myself thinking a lot about my time back in Uganda and just reflecting on how good God is and how honored I feel that He has provided for me every step of the way to go there twice and hopefully many more times to come. These past five days have been hard. It's always difficult to adjust, and I have had some weird sickness that causes me to only feel ill at night. I started nursing school, which you can imagine overwhelmed me almost to tears, but I am excited. To get places in life, you have to work hard, and I know that this will lead me to great things and where God wants me.

The big question that everyone asks is, "how was it?" I always laugh inside because this question is not simple. The more I have thought about this, I have found my answer, but is it what I thought it would be when I started planning my trip back? No, not at all. My answer is...it was hard. Really hard. But, I think that's okay. The other day I was talking to someone about it, and I said...It was hard, but you know you're in the right place when it isn't easy. And, I fully believe this. I think God calls us to be uncomfortable. To be challenged and to be pushed. It's not easy to go to a third world country and serve those around you. It's not easy to live life completely differently than how you have lived. It's not easy to walk with Jesus. But, it's rewarding, and it's the greatest gift in the world.

Listening to stories from my missionary friends in Uganda and experiencing some of it myself makes me have so much respect for people who truly give up their lives to follow Jesus. My friend, Bob, told us not just anybody can go over seas and serve. It is a big sacrifice. This got me thinking and is very true. I am so thankful for the missionaries we have all over the world risking their lives so others can come to know this great Love that we have. I only pray that if this is God's future for me, that I would be just as bold and courageous.

Reflection. 

My time in Uganda was not easy. My time back at home is not easy. But, life is good. God is good. Laughter is loud. Friendship is near. And, love is present. Wherever you are, enjoy life. Fellowship with God and others. Accept the challenges. They make us who we are. They draw us closer to Him. And, don't be afraid to go to hard places. Don't fear needing God. Embrace it.

Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus.